Ok preachers and punks, nerds and jocks, it's time for the first Annual Solutions for Modern Living Contest. In 50 words or less, describe to this esteemed panel of judges, namely myself, and maybe some more morbidly fascinating people to be named at a later date, an invention. And not just any invention, but one that would qualify for a solution to modern living prize. Winners of course will get an honary award, the golden couch potato, and likewise, a guest hosting job on this here blog. Winner will be afforded an opportunity to write an essay on one of the following choice topics:

1. Billie Jean is not my lover, and other lies as told by Wack Jacko...

2. White Wedding and other places Billy Idol would not be caught dead at...

3. Why I want a Popemobile...

The winner will also figure out how the hell to post photos and promptly fill me in.